Re: [alfa] Times note on Alfa GT debut in UK (Long)

[Joe Garcia <lacorsanostra@xxxxxxxxx>]

--- "J.R. Lehman" <jlehman@domain.elided> wrote: 
> This blurb was from the "Drive Times" section of the New York Times.... 
> 
> The Classic Gran Turismo Coupe? 
> 
> With Alfa Romeo and Bertone working together, the new Alfa Romeo GT was bound to
> be gorgeous. Americans will have to admire this Italian beauty from afar, though. 

Coincidentally enough, the main article of the Mar./Apr. issue of the SFAROC Newsletter (of which I am the humble editorial despot) was on this very car. For the benefit of the Digestivi, and because I endeavor to serve humanity, here it is: 

**** 
TITLE: So why can't we get one?

Following is the official press release on the new Alfa Romeo GT (originally to be called the Sprint, but someones mind changed and just sprung this on me without advance notice) with my own comments (in italics and also following). I also changed all that Brit-centric auto-speak, spellings and jargon, because I can't keep straight which is the boot and bonnet and, frankly, I can't be bothered with this sort of thing. 

Why all this? Because I'm the editor and I can.

(Ahem)

At Alfa Romeo's stand at the Frankfurt Motor Show, pride of place goes to the New Alfa GT, accessible to the public for the first time after the world preview at the Geneva Show. Designed by Bertone Styling Centre, the New Alfa GT features original styling and exalting performance. Indeed, it represents an unprecedented sports concept combining comfort and elegance. 

The characteristic "three-lobed shield" (where are the other two?) in the front part is clearly visible in its new version: slightly bigger sized, it is an important design element, out of which, ideally, the entire car seems to develop. The result is extremely effective, expressing force and aggressiveness. This impression is reinforced by the air intakes at the sides and the finely designed light clusters. 

Equally characterizing is the profile: seen from the side, the model is perceived as a nimble, solid, protective car. This is so mostly thanks to the sculptured sides endowing the model with momentum and dynamism. (Huh? What? Are you saying it's real pretty?) Moreover, the taut lines converging onto the tailgate and the smaller-sized glazed (Glazed? Like a doughnut?) area of the tail section, compared to the preponderant (Hey, watch it! Ladies read this newsletter too!) sides, convey an impression of elegance and sturdiness. 

The tail section is also strongly characterized (You guys at Alfa re-e-e-e-e-eally have to stop using those free translation websites for your press releases, call Alberto [the SFAROC webmaster, a native Sicilian], he'll do it for free.): slightly tapering, it features generously sized integrated bumpers and light clusters set flush with the body. Moreover, a steeply raked backlight and the exquisite, wrap-around design of the lights create a perfect stylistic balance. 

Like the exterior line, the interior trim of Alfa GT can be seen as the most advanced expression of Alfa Romeo's sportiness. Steering wheel, pedal set and gearshift have all been designed to ensure perfect, effortless control of all vehicle functions. (Good! Wait...does this also include downshifting into 2nd gear?) The instruments include two large, round-shaped analog gauges--the speedometer and the rev counter--at the sides, two smaller-sized round gauges in the center [for] fuel level and water temperature (And what of the ammeter? The oil pressure gauge?) and a central display underneath. Among Alfa GT's onboard instruments, the emphasis is placed on a multifunctional display screen giving access to a set of menus (oh, great); the built-in car radio and the controls of the dual-zone automatic climate control (Those of us with Tropic-Aire air conditioning know what it's like to have one zone and two climate controls). As for the seats, medium sized (Wow, we can get this car in
 different sizes? Cool.) versions are upholstered with Alfatex., a technical cloth covering the seats and the door panels. Patented by Alfa Romeo, Alfatex. uses a microfiber (That's polyester, to you and me) that improves transpiration (Mine or the car's?) and ensures superior comfort and great elegance. Alfa GT can also be had with leather covers available in a range of colors. 

The mechanical parts of New Alfa GT have inherited all the strong points of Alfa 156, including hearty engines (and, if British magazines are to be trusted, the GT has also inherited the 156's vicious torque steer), each offering specific power outputs among the best in their respective engine size class. The Alfa GT is unique, captivating, with stylistic features designed to exalt the properties of a car that proves brilliant and easy to handle in any situation (except maybe stomping on the gas from a dead stop on a damp road) and it offers unsurpassed driving pleasure. Three of the versions on display at the Frankfurt Sow are equipped with the 2.0 JTS 16v engine with (According to Top Gear magazine "annoying") Selespeed (designed by tennis star Monica Seles?) gearbox, a fourth car is powered by the 1.9 16v Multijet.

[Now my general comments, italics-free.]

From what I have been able to gather (which might not be so much as an Alfista in exile) the new Alfa GT is amazingly fun to drive. This in spite of the stilted (well, the parts that were understandable were stilted, I am not quite sure about the rest) prose of the press releases put out by Alfa Romeo. If you want to see the nefarious fingerprint of Fiat, it is in the press releases where it is most evident.

The GT formerly known as Sprint is ostensibly a five-seat (as long as the 3 back-benchers are no taller than 5'6") coupe with a versatile (that means the back seat flips down) load bay. It really looks a two-door Bertone-ification of the 156 sedan. Which is fine, because now it has fulfilled its promise of handsomeness. Or, at least it would be fine if Alfa Romeo had some dealerships somewhere between the spread of sea-to-shining-sea.

For all the babble about nifty diesels and sprightly "petrol" four bangers, our inner troglodyte is only really interested in the 3.2V6 (Or better yet, the 3.7 AutoDelta V6, because if you can't get the car, you might as well not get the hottest version of it) and what it's like to drive. For reasons best known to those responsible for the "steppers" of the 164, the 3.2 engine has been detuned to around 240 horsepower. AutoItalia magazine quoted some Alfa Romeo factotum as saying that a GTA version is not in keeping (!) with the car's character. This of course, makes nanosense, but since they won't take our money for the car--detuned or otherwise--we might as well keep our sneering politely to ourselves. Another blessing of the 3.2 engine is the unSelespeedness of the thing. You want to get the Serious Engine? Fine, row your own, bub. Unless you're in America, in which case you're welcome to decant discreet amounts of your salivary output on the pages of those oddly sized (to us
 bloody Yanks, anyway...I do not know if our Australian, NZ, SA and/or Canadian cousins feel the same way) British magazines.

One thing that's interesting is the interior. There are four interior ::cough, cough:: "themes", with different seat fabrics, dash plastics and levels of trim, and then a load of options that might come as part of one or another package may (or may not) be standard if you've chosen one package, but not with the Selespeed, or something. The articles I have read couldn't make any sense of it either. But, since Alfa is sticking its tongue out at us in the USA (at least, until its promised return in 2042) and Canada I wouldn't worry too much, preferring to just grin in politely disguised envy at our non-North American Alfisti cousins.

When you take the broad view of the situation, you see that Alfa Romeo is really doing many things right as a manufacturer, and that its DNA remains strong and vibrant, even when forced to labor underneath the jackboot of Fiat. It seems one on the more recalcitrant genes in the Alfa Romeo system is one that makes it impossible to not produce a car that is as satisfying to drive as the current circumstances will allow. This must greatly delight them over in Arese, to be able to stay true to their heritage, their mission, regardless of what the world throws at them.

Anyway, with the 3.2 V6 and you get everything (whether you like it or not). Leather on everything, video screen, myriad buttons, cruise control, a/c and usual bells & whistles. If the GT were to be available in here--which modern medicine has conclusively proven it will not--it'd go for around $45,000. Which is not too obscene. At least, not as obscene as not letting us try it.

-Joe in SoFla, SFAROC Newsletter Editor
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