[alfa] FW: Notice of revocation to USA

["Reid, Warren" <Warren.Reid@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

My apologies for the (mostly) non Alfa content and to those North Americans who may take this seriously - but ......
 
Please note that I have inserted a reference to Italian cars and Alfas to make this message politically correct for the digest!
 
Warren Reid, Melbourne Australia.

> >NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE TO CITIZENS OF THE UNITED STATES OF 
> >AMERICA 
> > 
> >In light of your recent failure to make the correct decision in electing 
> >your President, thus showing you to be unfit to govern yourselves, we 
> >hereby 
> >give you notice of the revocation of your independence effective as of 
> >Monday 8th November 2004. 
> > 
> >Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties 
> >over 
> >all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she 
> >doesn't much fancy, and is frankly a bit dodgy. 
> > 
> >Your new Prime Minister, the Rt. Hon. Tony Blair M.P. (for the 97.85% of 
> >you 
> >unaware of the outside world), will appoint a Minister for America without 
> >the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. 
> >A 
> >questionnaire will be circulated in twelve months time to determine if any 
> >of you noticed. 
> > 
> >To aid your transition into a British Crown Dependency, the following rules 
> >are introduced with immediate effect: 
> > 
> >1.    All citizens are to look up "revocation" in the Oxford English 
> >Dictionary. While there, check the pronunciation guide for "aluminium" - 
> >this may be surprising for you. Generally attempt to raise your vocabulary 
> >to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same 27 words 
> >interspersed with "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable form of 
> >communication.  NB. Look up "interspersed". 
> >2.    There is no such thing as "U.S. English". We will let Microsoft know 
> >on your behalf. 
> >3.    Learn to distinguish between British and Australian accents. It's not 
> >difficult. 
> >4.    Hollywood will henceforth be required to occasionally cast Englishmen 
> >as good guys. 
> >5.    Re-learn your original anthem, "God Save the Queen". Please ensure 
> >that you have complied with the first law before attempting this. 
> >6.    Stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of 
> >"football". What you refer to as "football" is not a very good game. The 
> >2.15% of you aware of a world outside of your borders may have noticed that 
> >no one else plays it. Play proper football instead; to start with get the 
> >girls to help you - it is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, 
> >eventually, be allowed to play rugby, which is similar to American 
> >"football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds 
> >or 
> >wearing full Kevlar body armour like nancies. 
> >7.    Declare war on Quebec and France, using nukes if they give you any 
> >merde. The 97.85% of you unaware of the outside world should count 
> >yourselves lucky - the Russians have never really been bad guys.  NB. 
> >"Merde" is French for "sh*t". 
> >8.    4th July is no longer a public holiday. 2nd November will be the new 
> >national holiday. 
> >9.    American cars are hereby banned. They are crap; its for your own 
> >good. 
> >When we show you Italian (especially Alfa Romeos),  German and Japanese cars you'll understand. 
> > 
> >10.   Please tell us who killed JFK. Its been driving us crazy. 
> > 
> >  THANK YOU FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION. 
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